Let's go Seminoles!

I'm not saying the SEC isn't the best conference. It is. And I'm not saying they didn't deserve six of those seven straight titles (Utah in 2008). It's just the whole behold-the-glory-of-us way its fans, coaches and players have.

For instance, the SEC acts as if it invented speed. And yet the fastest player in America -- WR Levonte Whitfield -- plays at Florida State.

The SEC acts as if it invented NFL feeder schools. And yet of the three schools with the most players on NFL rosters this season (USC, LSU and Miami), only one was from The Wonderful Conference.

The SEC acts as if it invented genius coaches. And yet its icon, Saban, made mistakes in the Iron Bowl you wouldn't see in Beverly Hills Pop Warner. Just to jog your memory, he passed up a 30-yard field goal that would've iced the game, then went for a 57-yard field goal that was returned half a mile because he forgot to put anybody on the kicking team who could run the 40 in under an afternoon.

Engrave that on your statue.

Please? Couldn't one team (1) commit an SEC violation in the title game so that we never again have to suffer condescending comments, like the one Prosch issued Thursday: "Florida State is really good. They resemble an SEC-type team the way they dominated their conference."

Oh, get over yourself. If anything, the Seminoles are far more "SEC" than Auburn. Do you realize they haven't given up a single rushing touchdown all year?

So, let me live this fantasy:

  • FSU whomping Auburn Monday, and some Seminoles player standing with his cleat on Prosch, going, " Resemble an SEC team? Bro, we're better¬†than any SEC team."
  • Taking the first-ever iPhone photo of a non-Wonderful Conference team winning the national championship. (The iPhone wasn't invented yet when the streak started.)

I'm begging you, Famous Jameis. If you love college football, you'll do this. If Meryl Streep wins every Best Actress, people stop watching the Oscars, right?

LSU head coach Les Miles eats the exact same dinner every night -- grilled fish with steamed vegetables. Every. Single. Night.

Me, I'm a dog who gets nothing but kibbles and no bits. I ache for a little variety. Is it too much to want to eat something new besides my words?

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